A Scots OAP is determined to make his friends and family laugh when he dies by going out in a graffiti-covered coffin on the back of a ‘old tranny van’.

Bob Anderson, 80, even penned his own obituary to save his family the bother and says he came up with the zany idea for his final sendoff because he’s been to so many “rubbish” funerals.”

The retired engineer, from Dunfermline in Fife, says he began to think about his own funeral in recent years, and ruled out having a ‘posh coffin’, opting for a cardboard one instead.

He is determined to have a non-f funeral, and made his family laugh by revealing his plans to be transported to a crematorium in a Transporter ‘tranny van’.

Bob said: “I am of a certain age that I have to wrap things up.

“I’ve been to a lot of funerals that are a load of rubbish – you sing a few hymns and they tell you a few things about the person’s life.

Bob wants a cardboard coffin covered in graffiti to transport him to the crematorium for the final send off

“I am an atheist and a physicist so believe that you’re just a set of molecules so I thought I’d do my own obituary.

“When I see other obituaries I think to myself ‘that’s not me’.

“My coffin will be covered in art and jokes by my sons. I discussed it with all my family and they think it’s brilliant.

“I’ve left it all with my good wife who is younger, so I think I will be finished before her.

“I think funeral services are all a bit pompous – it’s not for me. Why do you need a posh coffin?

“A van will just take me to the crem.”

Bob doesn’t want a hearse – a ‘tranny van’ will do

Bob revealed his “a wee bit different” plans to his local newspaper the Dunfermline Press with an obit it could publish.

The obituary reads: “If you’re reading this, I must have fallen off my perch.

“No complaints – I had a good kick at the ba’ with loads of love and laughter.

“Even the Grim Reaper chuckled when I explained about my rather misshapen nose, and he just about fell off his Harley when I told him the one about ‘What do you call people in Purgatory?’

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“No formal funeral, I never could be bothered with all that palaver.

“If you knew me – raise a glass?

“Meanwhile, I’m in my graffiti-covered cardboard coffin, being delivered via an old tranny van to the back door of the crem.

ee you – but not too soon I hope.”





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